“For the less enthusiastically obstructive NATO members, "ally" means
"wealthy country with no military capability that requires years of
diplomatic wooing and black-tie banquets in order to agree to a token
contribution of 23.08 troops." Incidentally, that 23.08 isn't artistic
licence on my part. The 2004 NATO summit in Turkey was presented as a
triumph of multilateral co-operation because the 26 members agreed to
contribute between them an additional 600 troops and three helicopters to
the Afghan mission. That's 23.08 troops and a ninth of a helicopter per
ally. In fairness, Turkey chipped in the three helicopters single-handed,
though the deal required them to return to Ankara after three months.
And these days troops is something of an elastic term, too. In Norwegian,
it means "fighting men who are prepared to stand shoulder to shoulder with
the Americans, as long as they don't have to do any fighting and there are
at least two provinces between their shoulders and the American ones".
That's to say, Norway is "participating" in Afghanistan, but, because its
troops are "not sufficiently trained to take part in combat", they've been
mainly back at the barracks manning the photocopier or staging amateur
performances of Peer Gynt for the amusement of US special forces who like
nothing better than to unwind with five acts of Ibsen after a hard day
hunting the Taliban.”
